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“I won’t back down” - Tom Petty
Being bullied is an awful experience for anyone. It’s scary, frightening, and damaging in many ways. It can feel shameful, and make you feel isolated and alone. The pain endured isn’t just physical, but also strongly emotional and psychological. Hurtful to say the least. A suffering that is felt many times alone, with no-one to talk to. Left to continue and fester, it can eat away at yourself, at your self esteem, your confidence, your self-worth and your power, and pervade over all facets of your life. This is not the way anyone should have to live! This is not the way any child should live!
WHAT IS BULLYING?
Bullying is a form of ABUSE.
And it comes in different guises. In different places. In different people.
Anyone can be a bully, and anyone can be bullied.
There is no discrimination, and no-one is immune.
We all have our weaknesses, and a bully knows just how to find them and manipulate them.
From bullyingnoway.gov.au
"Bullying isn't the same as a 'normal' conflict between people (such as having an argument or a fight) or simply disliking someone. It's more about repeated behaviour by someone who has power or control over someone else.
According to the Australian Government’s “Bullying. No Way!” website, in Australian schools bullying is defined as:
“… an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that intends to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening.”
The sort of repeated behaviour that can be considered bullying includes:
PHYSICAL, VERBAL & SOCIAL
1. Physical bullying - Actions that physically harm someone, break and/or steal their things.
2. Verbal bullying - Spoken or written words that are malicious and hurtful in nature. (This would also include Cyber Bullying)
3. Social bullying - The intention to socially isolate another person or otherwise attack their social standing. "Cancel Culture" is a form of social bullying.
CyberBullying - This can be both verbal and social - Harassment, insults and abuse hurled over the internet and phones through text messaging and so on...
https://www.bullyzero.org.au/statistics-and-figures
So as you can see, bullying is a major issue affecting many people! So what can we do it about it?
There are things you can do, and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE BEING BULLIED?
Being bullied is not something a person should have to endure, regardless of your age – and the aftermath can be minor or nuclear. It's effects lifelong. There are things that can be done. It isn't hopeless and it doesn't have to be nuclear.
There’s always something you can do. These include:
1. TELL SOMEONE
Tell someone. Now that sounds easier than what it is for anyone who is being bullied. It's not easy. Especially because it can make you feel weak, vulnerable and a victim. To tell someone means, that that "someone" needs to be someone you trust, someone you feel comfortable with and someone you know has your back. Not only that they might not eevn believe you. Or it could make matters worse. That's the last thing you need!
Telling this someone will help you not feel alone, help you feel supported and encouraged, help you understand that what is happening to you is not your fault, and it isn't right what this person is doing to you. That someone can affirm your standing and help you re-gain your confidence.
This someone could be a trusted friend, family member, work colleague, a teacher or the principle at the school. Most importantly - tell someone,
2. DON’T GIVE UP
Now sometimes, that someone can't, is unable to, do anything that can change your situation. Just know, that if they could, they would. But don't give up, don't despair, you may have to tell them again., especially if its a teacher or principle, as they may not understand the gravity of your situation, or have spoken to the bully and believed that it wouldn't be happening again. So have faith. But do realise, if time goes by, and nothing has been done about it, and you have repeatedly spoken to this someone about it, it may come down to the time where you will need to take things into your own hands. You may not have a choice!
3. KEEP RECORD
Keeping records just helps as evidence, if all else fails, and you are required to defend yourself, you have evidence to back your case. It sounds kind of terrible, but at least you have every right so. The bully on the other hand, has no right to bully you!
4. REACH OUT
If you start feeling like you are out of choices, you are in despair, down and depressed, isolated and alone, or worse and you feel so bad that you have harmful or suicidal thoughts, then there are support services you can reach out to for help: For example, Kids Helpline and Lifeline.
You are not alone!
Being bullied is not your fault!
It is if YOU allow it to continue!
YES, you can do something about it!
5. TAKE UP MARTIAL ARTS
I suppose you saw this one coming. Most Martial Arts will teach Self Defence in one form or another. They will teach the physical aspects as well as the mental and verbal aspects to counter the bullies physical, verbal and inevitably mental/emotional attacks.
That's the way life works. That's the way matter works. That's the way the universe works.
As Newton's third law surmises; "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction"
Martial Arts offers equal and opposite reactions to the bullies every action.
Physical: this would include the techniques, the sparring and concepts you learn and practice at the club. Also body strengthening, improved fitness, flexibility, mobility and reflexes, among many other things.
Mental: this would include the mental and emotional attributes you would need to develop in the practice of martial arts itself, such as patience, perseverance, focus, determination, concentration, commitment, tenacity, self-control and much more. Also, what I call the 1st rule of self defence, Awareness and Avoidance; which is the key to all self protection in the end.
Verbal: learn verbal skills on how to best communicate with the bully, that may diffuse the situation in a safe manner for the both of you.
At First 2 Strike Freestyle Martial Arts, we have a tenet, a tenet we recite before class every day. That tenet is INDOMITABLE SPIRIT. It means having an invincible spirit, that is unbreakable, unconquerable and incorruptible. It also means that if you are backed up against the wall, you don't lay down, you FIGHT!
With practice, training, commitment and time in the martial arts, slowly but surely, it will enable you to stand up against the bully!
See you at training…
KNOWLEDGE, PREPAREDNESS AND CONFIDENCE
Pil Sung (Certain Victory)
Vince Serra (First 2 Strike Freestyle Martial Arts)
11 Princes hwy, Figtree, Wollongong 2525 NSW
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